Dragging the ball and chain

Gosh my Son, the last few weeks have been massive emotionally. Lots of tears. Some negative reflection but most importantly acknowledgment of my mistakes. I’m looking at it as much as i can (as much as it hurts so much). To have done you wrong and truly not realise it. To only be able to speculate about your pain, is so painful. I can’t change any of it my Son. All i can do is acknowledge it. Learn from it! And try harder to be better and not repeat them. Try, try, try…like you did…endlessly until the end. And that’s what i’ll do my beautiful, handsome Son. I’ll keep trying. I’ll try and hurry up and get over it like you said. I want to do that for you, for me and your brothers and sisters. If not, what was it all for! I know you’re happy now. I know you’re strong and healthy and i LUV LUV LUV that for you. But we miss you! We love you so so so much. Hope to see you again in my dreams my baby. Forever loving. Forever your mama.